This story is about my tracking of horse life to make sure what it's going on from the birth to the end coming from a piece of my memories to try to link the other reality that "we eat horse" When I was 16 years old, I visited a race track in Hokkaido for the first time. It was not for betting, but just for looking on heavy-species horse, especially the monster thoroughbred's shape that is about 1000kg each. At the stable, the monster just after racing was coming into one after another. Their muscles were still in full play and I could see their whole bodies were in white steam in the dark-chilly air. Even now that scene is engraved my mind's eye. Just a decade later, I had a opportunity to eat low meat (Sashimi) of horse in Fukuoka, Kyushu island located southern Japan and famous for eating horse meat as well. Then I felt something strange that how they can have it... After all that small but sour memory had not disappear from my brain. From 2011, I practically wanted pursue the cycle of race horse even though it's only a side of life. Since then I've contacted to get allowance to photograph to some farms and slaughterhouses. I don't think there is nothing special to have contacts. However in japan we don't like show "the ugly and serious side" that horse is been killed. I called to have permit to whole slaughterhouses, but I couldn't get it after all. After all only an old butcher running small slaughterhouse let me do. Now I get decided to tackle this issue unless my motivation run out.